Friday, November 13, 2009

Fine... Do It for the Money. Just Don't Act Happy About It


I don't necessarily like making sweeping statements. I always worry about my opinions inevitably changing. My favorite CD right now will probably irritate me in 6 months. So I can't really say it is my favorite CD. At one point in my life this would have been Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA. You see what I mean? It is this fear that keeps me from generally listing "favorites" (outside of sports teams - they don't change and if yours does... I hate you).

However until recently I would have to say my favorite working actor was probably John Cusack (sadly, John Candy has not been cast in any roles lately. I believe this is all part of Hollywood's bias against fat people). I don't really know why, but every character he has ever played in a movie just seems down-to-Earth and likable. He is believable - like someone you actually know acts this way in these situations.

All that really hits the fan today with the release of 2012. I hate movies based solely on FX. I, for one refuse to pretend that California falling into the ocean would be anything but good for the rest of the world. I hate this movie already. If I wanted to spend a couple of hours seeing terrified people run from epic disasters I would... (wait for it)... stand outside the FedEx Forum after a Grizzlies game (HOME RUN!). No plot - all Special FX. This is like the anti-John Cusack movie. Mark my words - it will suck big time.

Not to mention - have you ever seen this guy in an interview? Holy Moses, this guy thinks everything he says is important. Lighten up, man. You pretend for a living. Must Love Dogs is not culturally relevant to anything except the holiday programming schedule for the Lifetime Channel.

I think my new favorite actor is going to be Sam Rockwell. He is what John Cusack used to be - except his version of a romantic comedy - Choke. Sam Rockwell is great. If there was a movie about my life (or should I say "when"), I would slap that guy on some stilts and trust his vision for what he thought I should be. Which reminds me - Why is it that Moon opens in limited release in NY and LA, but the next giant turd by Tyler Perry (Madea Takes a Dump - if you will) will be on three screens in every theater within 100 miles of my house? I blame you America. This is all your fault.

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