...has someone called his shot and followed through with such testicular fortitude. Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes (side note: your mom's nickname in high school) this past weekend and apparently absolutely followed through with the promise he made last week: "They won't be asking me to host again." Now I know what you're thinking; "What' a golden globe?" Apparently it can be defined as a roomful of humorless, self-serving morons that don't feel that they should be held accountable for their actions.
Now I wouldn't describe myself as a huge Ricky Gervais fan. I couldn't name two movies he has been in or one that I liked. The office was funny prior to jumping the shark, but I never had any reason to give the guy a second look. That is until he sat in a room full of his peers, looked them directly in the face and tore them to pieces. Watch the monologue if you think I'm exaggerating - and even if you know I don't exaggerate (I am that sexy), watch it. I'll wait. Ok, if you can't click a link I will give you some of my favorite quotes:
On 3-D: “It was a big year for 3-D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seems like everything this year was three-dimensional — except the characters in The Tourist. I tell you what, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?
But it must be good because it's nominated, so shut up, OK? And I'd like to crush this ridiculous rumor that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the foreign press of could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That was not the only reason; they also accepted bribes.”
On SJP et al: “There were a lot of big films that didn’t get nominated this year – nothing for Sex and the City 2. I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster.”
On Scientologists who shall not be named: “Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists, then. My lawyers helped with that joke.”
On Robert Downey Jr.: “He’s the star of Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, Wonderboys. Sorry, are these porn films? Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang), Bowfinger. Really! Up the Academy. He has done all those films, but many of you in this room probably know him from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.”
On Rambo: “The next presenter is a true Hollywood icon. In ten of the biggest blockbusters of all time, he has shown his extraordinary acting versatility. He has played a boxer … and Rambo. Please welcome Sylvester Stallone!”
On the elderly: “Next up, Eva Longoria has the daunting task of introducing the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press. That’s nothing! I just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in.”
And the reactions?
Robert Downey Jr.: Called the show “hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones.”
Harvey Weinstein: “Knowing that Ricky Gervais will never work again means a lot to me. I’m going to make sure of it.
HFPA President Philip Berk (the one with the false teeth): “He definitely crossed the line, and some of the things were totally unacceptable. But that’s Ricky. Any of the references to individuals is certainly not something the Hollywood Foreign Press condones.”
The HFPA in their infinite wisdom decided that he will not be invited back to the Golden Globes. Like a 3rd grader that thought he was fouled on the playground, they took their ball and went home.
Ahem...An excerpt from Robert Downey Jr.'s wikipedia page:
From 1996 through 2003, Downey was arrested numerous times on drug-related charges and went several times through drug treatment programs unsuccessfully, explaining in 1999 to a judge: "It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger's on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal."[16] He also explained his relapses by claiming to be addicted to drugs since the age of eight; his father was giving them to him as he was also an addict.[17]
In April 1996, Downey was arrested for possession of heroin, cocaine and an unloaded .357-caliber Magnum handgun, while he was speeding down Sunset Boulevard. A month later, when on parole, he trespassed into a neighbor's home while under the influence of a controlled substance, falling asleep in one of the beds.[18][19] He was sentenced to three years of probation and required to undergo mandatory drug testing. In 1997 he missed one of the court-ordered drug tests and had to spend four months in the Los Angeles County jail. When Downey missed another required drug test in 1999, he was arrested once more. Despite Downey's lawyer, John Stewart Holden, assembling for his client's 1999 defense the same team of lawyers that successfully defended O. J. Simpson during his criminal trial for murder,[17] Downey was sentenced to a three-year prison term at the California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility and State Prison in Corcoran, California (a.k.a. "Corcoran II").
Ssshhhhh. Don't talk about that. He won't want to hear that.
This guy was a complete menace that should still be locked up for everything he did. There is no way Robert Downey Jr. should be anywhere in public other than a well supervised area of the Red Light District. But he was in Iron Man. What a comeback.
The whole thing is so infuriating. I will give you one category and the nominees:
Best Motion Picture: Comedy or Musical
Alice and Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids are Alright
Red
The Tourist
So it's ok for the HFPA to laugh at The Tourist, but Ricky Gervais can't? Pretty hypocritical if you ask me.
All I'm saying is this - actors are stupid. They pretend for a living. And they are shocked when people aren't kissing their asses or treating them like their jobs are important. I hate you, Hollywood. I wish Hollywood was just made up of Ricky Gervais and Dennis Leary. That being said, let's never mention any of these people again.
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