Thursday, February 26, 2009

Your New Hero

Clint Eastwood may be many things (old, wrinkly, old)... but he is not a sissy. In fact, he went on the record as saying that we are a "pu$$y generation". I tend to agree with him because... well he might grunt at me if I don't. And this is my last clean pair of boxers. But today he made me the happiest man alive. Clint (that's what I call him) told Der Spiegel magazine (I think that is German for "Barely Legal", but I could be wrong)that people have lost their sense of humor when it comes to race jokes.

Now I know that the sensitive thing to do here is to call him old and out of touch. And to say that he does not understand what it is like to... whatever. The only reason I am not saying that is because I agree with him by a percentage that is so much higher than 100% it has not even been invented yet. Get over it and go back to your tee pee, redskin.

Now I know there are some words that are off limits. I begrudgingly concede that I should not be saying certain words in reference to certain races. But listen - I'm not going to preface my sentences with, "Now I'm not racist. I have black friends." If you have to make it known that you have black friends, you are probably only have one and its because he acts like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I wouldn't say I have as many black friends as Tupac, but I can think of at least 8 white guys I'm friends with that act like Tupac so that has to count for something, right?

As Clint puts it:

'People have lost their sense of humour,' he told Germany's Der Spiegel magazine.

'In former times we constantly made jokes about different races.

'You can only tell them today with one hand over your mouth otherwise you will be insulted as a racist.

'I find that ridiculous. In those earlier days every friendly clique had a "Sam the Jew" or "Jose the Mexican" - but we didn't think anything of it or have a racist
thought.

'It was normal that we made jokes based on our nationality or ethnicity. That was never a problem.

''I don't want to be politically correct. We're all spending too much time and energy trying to be politically correct about everything.'


I wish I could refer to my friends as, "Albert the Chinaman" or "Lucas the Mexican" or "Webbed foot Wes" without people looking at me funny. I deal with Indian people (red dot - not feather) on a daily basis and I will fight anyone that argues against the fact that it is easier to lift up a Buick than to get them to write a check.

I think the fact that the difference of people from different areas/backgrounds/ethnicities is so obvious it becomes almost offensive not to acknowledge it. Like having your grandparents tell you something is "off the hook." Or having me tell anyone they are as good as me at anything.

No one hates political correctness more than me. If I think of something, I just want to say it. I hate censoring myself. I am also not very good at it. Like that time I laughed at the lady who got her hands eaten by monkey on Xanax. Admittedly that wasn't very polite, but come on. Someone gave Xanax to a monkey. Now substitute that woman for a Chinese guy. What if I had said, "Of course the monkey had to keep eating him. Otherwise he would have been hungry in half an hour." Now is it actually racially insensitive to say that Chinese food is mystically un-filling? If so, why? Why would any Chinese person care that the food of their ancestors has a reputation like this? Or maybe my censor just doesn't work and that's why I don't get it.

Maybe I'm just being selfish because I want to say whatever I want. Or maybe it's because I just realized the yogurt I am eating for lunch looks like semen and I'm trying not to think about it, but I think we all need to lighten up. Otherwise - when someone invents a time machine, we aren't going to be able to use it. Because if we go back in time 30 years or more, everyone is going to kick our sissy asses.

Now I don't think anyone should intentionally try to offend anyone. I just don't think pointing out a difference between two groups of people is necessarily offensive.

Let me be the first to say if you would like to make fun of me for being any of the following, feel free:

White
Tall
Unable to jump
A fan of country music
WalMart shopper
100% limited to one dance move
My southern accent
My deep voice
Handsome
Great at everything

Or anything else you can think of, but I think that pretty much sums it up.

1 comment:

  1. I really didn't pick you out to be a fan of country music.

    ReplyDelete