Nope... Miss California caused a "scandal" by answering a loaded question honestly. I know, right? You don't care either. Now I don't really know who or what Perez Hilton is, but I'm pretty sure it is gay and I'm almost positive it should not qualify as a "celebrity judge." Nevertheless someone let this talentless monstrosity ask a question to a poor girl that has worked her entire life to look fantastic in a 2 piece (I sympathize because I know the sacrifices it takes to look impeccable in a thong).
So it asked this poor girl her opinion on gay marriage. And her answer was... about as smooth as a herpes outbreak. She states:
"We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."
Now I know what you are about to say. "Dean, your hair looks ridiculous. Why don't you get a hair cut."
But that is beside the point. Focus here. Can you understand the picture I am painting? Hollywood has jumped on board with making fun of this poor girl. HOLLYWOOD! No, not even Hollywood. Those goblins that became famous for no other reason than having rich parents and not wearing panties. They make Sean Penn look smart.
And it's no wonder journalism is in the tank. People blame the internet. Its not the internet. It is the the uninspired morons that contact these people and ask their opinion.
"Hey, Paris... what do you think about Miss California's answer to the question on Gay marriage?"
"People need to be more tolerant. If it weren't for Gay people, no one would have bought my sex tape... Please pay attention to me! Look! I shaved (pulls up skirt)"
What? Too far?
Look... all I'm saying is that George Strait is one smooth talker when it comes to the ladies.
Not only that, but can we all please agree that if you ask someone's opinion on something you can't get mad when they give it to you? It's pretty clear what answer was going to serve Perez Hilton's agenda. And Miss California was expected to give him the only kind of satisfaction she could ever give him.
But she didn't. She answered honestly. And now I can't look at any news outlet without reading or hearing about this "scandal." This isn't a scandal, people. This is a competition that is 90% decided by physical appearance and the ability to not fall down in heels. And then they ask them a question and given the opportunity, one contestant stated what she believed in. And a large percentage of the country agrees with her or it would be legal everywhere. But we don't hear from that percentage. We hear from Kim Kardashian.
The only mistake Miss California made was not understanding that the only people that care about the Miss America pageant are gay men. She should have dodged the question and still not completely abandoned her beliefs and answered like this:
What's up with men anyway? Why can't they spend more than 10 minutes in Target? Amirite, ladies?
She would have received a standing ovation and have the crown right now.
I'm just saying that I'm right... about everything. Even when I contradict myself.
And Perez Hilton is not so much a celebrity judge as an unfunny, untalented, fat eye sore that makes more money than me for reasons I will never understand. How did it even get on TV? That is atrocious. I'm serious. Write your congressman. We demand a Dean be on TV!
U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.!!!!!
* I really like to take sides
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