Thursday, September 3, 2009

Day 4: Stuck in my cabana, livin' on bananas and soup


Today I can eat bananas and soup... all day. That's it. Dunston himself did not have to deal with such a menu. Oh yeah - and I am supposed to drink all of the skim milk I can stand. After one glass, I may have hit the wall. On the bright side - I can put skim milk in my coffee... or so I thought until I did it. It doesn't look right. It looks like muddy water with a gray/depressed tint to it. I know I'm complaining a lot, but I don't want to give the idea this diet is easy or even remotely enjoyable. The plus side, as you can imagine is a supposedly "clean" body and as of this morning I have lost 6 lbs. 6 lbs in 3 days is not too bad. Now I know I will gain all of it back with the first chicken wing, but at least I know what to do a week before my next "Men of Project Management - Specific to the Sign Industry" topless calender shoot. It's an exclusive group - you probably haven't heard of it. Long waiting lists, ect, ect...

- All I have eaten today is bananas. I am actually scared to eat the soup again so I have avoided it to the point that it is 1:20pm and I have eaten 5 bananas today. I once saw Jeff Corwin throw up from eating too many bananas. I thought maybe it was faked for television, but I think I see now that it had to be real. I can feel my will power fading. I don't want dinner tonight. I just want to sleep through the next three days.

- It's almost the end of my work day and my stomach is empty. I ran out of bananas three hours ago. All I have left to eat is soup. I'll see you in hell, soup. I'd rather die than eat another bite of you. I'm not sure what tonight will bring. I'd say with any luck it will bring Armageddon (end of world, not Ben Affleck movie).

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